Joanna would have written a bio, but she had a pressing engagement with a dental surgeon/international spy, so this space will be filled with office scuttlebutt:
- Rumor has it that, for her art school thesis project, she produced a collection of tiny corsets, made from calico and cobweb silk, to be worn by anorexic hamsters.
- It is alleged that she arm-wrestled Martha Stewart in a grease pit at a county fair, and lost.
- Poorly-researched reports indicate that her children have been taught to play the hurdy-gurdy to a medley of “Smells Like Teen Spirit” and “Love Will Keep Us Together.”
- Unverified accounts state that she lost a small fortune investing in a concern that developed and marketed smartphones to the World Famous Lipizzaner Stallions. The final blow supposedly occurred when specially-developed hoofprint recognition software was revealed to be an abject failure.
- Several slightly-disheveled witnesses state that she declines to write bios as a matter of principle, preferring instead to paint self-portraits with the cheesy sauce from macaroni & cheese. Two better-dressed witnesses dispute this account; they say it is butterscotch pudding.
- The one known fact about this elusive individual is that she naps occasionally in the comfy nest of Loops & Threads yarn underneath her desk, crocheting single chains with her finger to lull herself to sleep.